But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.
Acts of the Apostles 20:24 NLT
For years I have been told that I was a writer. I don’t think about what I am writing, I just do it. In high school and thereafter, I wrote essays, poems, and discussion questions for friends and even strangers sometimes for cash. I didn’t want to be paid but I surely didn’t refuse it (LOL!). I simply wanted to write. Writing has always been something that just came natural to me, like breathing. I think I enjoy writing as much as I enjoy talking and reading…and that’s a lot!
Writing for me is a way to speak publicly without having to actually speak in front of people. I have battled with the fear of public speaking for years and have developed several tricks to overcome “Glossophobia” or fear of public speaking. I smile a lot (more than usual) to hide my nervousness. I don’t make eye contact with people, I actually look up a lot instead. I talk very fast, move around a lot, and volunteer often just to get it over with. The tricks I use to hide my fear have in turn worked in my favor. Instead of appearing nervous, I look like someone who enjoys speaking in front of people.
So what happens when you get a super shy yet outgoing social butterfly in love with writing, talking and helping people?
You get a woman anointed and ordained by God to proclaim His Gospel.
For years I ran from my calling. Feeling unworthy, shy, not good enough, not brave enough. I proclaimed to God that He had chosen wrong! “Not me Lord. I had 2 kids out of wedlock from 2 different men before I was 21.” Or, “Not me God. I look average. Ain’t nobody tryna see me. I’m not even that pretty!” And even, “Naw God. Can’t do it. I can’t never finish what I start.”
See one thing about God is, He is great at being God. He don’t need no help, no recommendations, no coaching, or no input. He is the same from everlasting to everlasting! Many times in my life, God has straightened me about my place as “child”, in our relationship. I’m grateful for that! See God will choose the foolish things for wise. He will use anybody He wants to to get the job done. Take Moses for example. When God commanded Moses to go before Pharoah, Moses said to God “Pardon Your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to Your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”(Exodus 4:10). Nice excuse right? Kinda like me saying “God I can’t write, encourage, or speak. I’m shy, I don’t think I look as nice as other girls, and I talk fast.” But God being God says to me as He said to Moses and as He says to any of you inspired to do His will…
“…Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:11-12 (NIV)
Why do you do what you do? Are you living for self? To get all you can get out of life? Are you striving daily to reach your goals? Maybe you want to travel the world or try different deserts or be with as many men or women as possible. It’s all gotta mean something though. Your purpose is usually bigger than you. It’s meant to make a difference for you as well as those you encounter. My writing, encouraging, and speaking is not for me…it blesses me but it’s more about helping others.
What are you living for?